'Twas Frostivus Eve, and all 'cross the map,
The neutrals were quiet, their camps left unstacked.
We'd gorged on a feast of bluehorn and spiced creep,
And had just settled in for a peaceful night's sleep.

When up on the roof, with a house-shaking thud
A creature had landed, and sniffed for our blood.
A sword could be heard being dragged 'cross the shingles;
Then the chimney exploded, and in came King Kringle.

His silhouette stalked through the splintered debris
Of branches and cinders where'd once been our tree.
He righted an armchair (still quietly smoldering)
And sat down with three sacks he'd been up till now shouldering.

"A DARK INCANTATION," his hollow voice boomed
Like a sepulchral drum being banged in a tomb.
"A SACK OF GIFTS PRESENT, A SACK OF GIFTS PAST,
A SACK OF GIFTS TAKEN (BUT OFTEN BROUGHT BACK)."

"Excuse me," I said, crawling out from the rubble,
"The gift that I'd like, if it's not too much trouble:
Please don't kill my children. Please don't kill my wife.
We'd rather you left and spared everyone's life."

He emptied a sack and adjusted his helm.
"THIS FIRST SACK OF GIFTS IS UNKNOWN TO THIS REALM:
THE NEMESIS CURSE, THE WHISPER OF DREAD,
THE MOONLIGHT TIARA, AND MUCH MORE," he said.

In the ensuing silence not a lone breath was drawn.
I coughed to help jog him. "Well, please do go on."
His gauntleted hand dumped sack two on our floor.
It was full of new items! Wait, I'd seen these before...

"SOME GIFTS I'VE IMPROVED, AND SOME I'VE DERANGED.
ALL THAT NEED CONCERN YOU IS THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED.
THE ORB OF CORROSION, ARCANE BOOTS, BLOODTHORN.
THESE AND MORE I HAVE ALTERED SINCE LAST THEY WERE WORN."

We looked through the items he'd spilled on the floor.
"These are lovely," I told him. "But you'd hinted there's more?"
"THE THIRD GIFT," he said as he grabbed the last sack,
"IS MY FAVORITE KIND... THE GIFT I TAKE BACK."

"Not Ring of Aquila! Please not Titan Sliver!"
"Not Penta-Edged Sword!" I sobbed with a quiver.
"I'M TAKING THEM ALL," he said with a laugh.
"AND QUICKENING CHARM AND GOOD OL' QUARTERSTAFF."

Two sacks were now empty; the third one was stuffed.
He grabbed them and back up the chimney he huffed.
He sprang to his bone sleigh and winked a goodbye.
Then flew from the roof and tore open the sky.

And we heard him exclaim, as he left the facilities—
"THE TORMENTOR AND ROSHAN SHALL HAVE NEW ABILITIES!"